My first Halloween
haunted house experience was in a downtown Houston warehouse. It was
1987 and I was in college. Downtown Houston was scary enough in the
late 80s. Not that it was dangerous. At night, when the workers all went home and the buildings emptied, it was eerily desolate. I don’t recall who I
accompanied, nor much about the house. I do recall that it was
scary-fun, and the exit was a slide back down into the
street.
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| My Whispers the Klown character |
Years later, when living in Annapolis, MD, I drove to a desolate haunt in the boonies. The signs leading the way were foreboding in the darkness. I arrived at an old, dilapidated farmhouse, surrounded by eerie corn stalks and actual ghosts—I'm almost certain of that. A bonfire cast sinister shadows that danced across the house, while columns of ominous corn stalks stood sentry. Inside were rooms, elaborately decorated and full of macabre and doom. I absolutely loved it.
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| Dr. Evil's House of Horror |
By the time I discovered Doctor Evil’s House of Horrors in California, I had only enjoyed a small handful of haunts. But here was a haunt that put the evil in the town’s name: GuernEVILle. Dr. Evil was the brainchild of Michael and Tracie Skaggs—good friends of mine. They owned an amusement park that closed many years before we met. Most of the rides were sold off, but there was still a rusty roller coaster and one of those vomit-inducing twirly things—atop of which was a ghastly woman mannequin in a long, white dress. She rested precariously atop that ride all year long. Watching.
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| The watcher |
In what used to be a video arcade and go-cart garage, the Skaggs built an annual Halloween haunted house. It was around 5,000 square feet, and every year it changed. Michael never used a blueprint or drawn-out plans. Utilizing old pallets and pieces of wood, broken mirrors, forgotten desks and couches, discarded wing backed chairs, and distorted TVs that only showed static, Michael created a darkened maze of horrors and lunacy that was the envy of every haunt in the Bay Area. He decorated with tons of previously used props from a Santa Cruz haunt that was shuttered. It was as creepy as they get, with spaces requiring stooping, climbing, and squeezing through dark corridors. Thunderous, hard-core music from The Insane Clown Posse wailed, and the ever-present, sinister voice of Dr. Evil invaded your sanity (Michael wearing a wireless mic). Everything about it was ghastly. It was THE best haunt.
Outside, in what used to be a bumper car attraction, Tracie designed a smaller, slightly less scary haunt for the little kids. While this was free, proceeds from the main haunt went to charity—buying coats and shoes for local children in need for the upcoming winter.
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| Tracie's junior haunt |
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| Popular with all ages |
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| Tracie & Penguin |
The Skaggs started telling me of Dr. Evil’s while camping in their camp ground. He gave me a tour of the building, mostly vacant outside of Halloween. Nothing like an old building in an abandoned amusement park, displaying jars of artificial body parts, a faux electric chair, coffins, and horror-related bric-a-brac. Another guest once called the sheriff to report a killer and the building full of dead body parts and blood. Oh, how they all laughed.
(He kept it locked up after that.)
Only one time through Dr. Evil’s and I knew I wanted to be a part of it. I joined a cast of fellow volunteers, donning makeup and ragged costumes to scare the bejesus out of people. My profession as a flight attendant requires a pleasant demeanor, while flying at 35,000 feet in a metal tube. It took less than an hour making people scream and I was hooked. There is nothing more satisfying than bringing horror to someone’s face by simply dressing as a clown and standing in dark room, bouncing lightly on a clown trampoline. There was a sense of power I had never experienced.
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| Doctor Evil and his gang |
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| Dr. Evil |
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| Whispers the wretched ring leader |
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| Whispers in the clown room |
Seven years later, his little hole-in-the-wall haunt was more popular than ever, drawing people from Sacramento, and the south bay. We often heard from guests visiting from other states or countries, and that a friend led them to us. Voted as the scariest haunt in Northern California, Michael’s Dr. Evil’s was on the map.
Discovering a minor error in county paperwork error, the local government swooped in to initiate a landslide of arduous demands that were near impossible and quite expensive. After a long fight, the Skaggs closed up, sold the property, and left for Oregon. Sadly, Dr. Evil’s House of Horrors is no more.
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| Dr. E addressing the crowd |
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At the same time, I moved back to Texas. It was October of 2014, and before settling in, I auditioned at a local haunt in Houston. It was larger than Dr. Evil’s, with a budget to match. They charged twice as much admission. Michael called these places, “Disney-types of haunts, with wide hallways; ugly lighted exit signs ruining the darkness; and big, fancy animatronics.” Not only could they afford high-end props, the actors were paid, the costumes provided, and professional movie-makeup artists were employed.
They made half my face appear burned to a prosthetic crisp. It was wicked. They cast me in a large room, or scene, with giant pipes in what appeared to be a power plant. I created a character right on the spot, and at the end of the night was told I was one of few giving it any effort.
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| Whispers' first night |
Whisper’s The Klown, became a popular mainstay at Dr. Evil’s. There were times I needed a change of pace, so I portrayed the sinister, Vemana. He was a great character, but inevitably, patrons asked, “Where is Whispers?” Vemana replied that the clown tasted good, but was chewy. Disappointing fans of Whispers was brutal. He was more work and energy, but I felt terrible depriving them of their favorite klown. The fancy Houston haunt wouldn’t allow me to portray Whispers. “OK, but if anyone asks for him, it’s on you.”
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| Pre show dinner w/ Dr. E |
The Houston haunt was frightful, but more showy than what I was used to. Instead of providing for the community, the goal was to line their pockets. No more cast dinners before each show, something the Skaggs provided to the volunteers. The worst part though? After 7 years of being in charge, I was now a nobody.
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| Vemana fills in for Whispers |
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| This one night... |
I lasted only one night and never returned.
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| A new chapter on the 13th Floor |
Eight years later, I missed my scream therapy something awful. One day I passed a sign for the 13th Floor haunted house near my home. They opened 4 years previous, but I never knew it. A chain of popular haunts, their videos are all over the interwebs, and haunt-related contacts promised to make Dr. E's equally as big if we invested in their product. It was time to see a doctor for a prescription for therapy. Not Dr. Evil, but someone, or some THING, from the 13th Floor could surely prescribe what I needed—screams, scares, and a bit of terror.
Auditioning is easy, if you’re outgoing, have 3 years experience performing improv at the world’s largest Renaissance festival, and 7 years experience as a monster of mayhem at another haunt. Days after sending my resume, I was shaking hands with my new entertainment director, Katy. In case she had any ideas after seeing my resume, I asserted that I only wanted to be a freak of fear, making people scream, and not be in charge of anything.
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| Show talk with Katy |
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| Inside the haunt with Jerry |
It’s probably five times larger than Dr. E’s. The actors are paid, and they’re worth it. Airbrush makeup artists, costumes and masks are provided. Unlike Dr. Evil’s, they do not provide dinner prior to the show, but there is a cohesiveness backstage that I enjoy. I didn’t resurrect Whispers, but as I did that first year at Dr. Evils, I played different characters in various rooms.
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| The actors before showtime |
Grisly Scenes
Stone Room: I’m told this used to be called the basement. At the entrance is a sensor that sounds a monster roar and activates a strobe light. Part of the stone wall is built into the room for a place to hide. Unfortunately, seasoned haunt-seekers usually spot this, thus ruining the element of surprise. It was easy to work and got some great screams, making it perfect to get my feet wet.
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| I'm Jimmy, the skull man |
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| My Scarecrow in Front of Barn |
Front of Barn: This was a large room. At the far end of the room, to the left, is the barn, with a sensor activating a large monster that roars and shakes. On the right side of the room is an actor cage. The door next to the cage is easily noticed. Even though many people recognized the pop-out door, it was a great scare. Especially if I start in the cage, where they don’t expect me to pop out. The beauty of this room is the ability to get multiple scares. After the initial fright, I circle behind. When they get distracted, I move to their left and startle them again. As they enter the barn and take in the spectacle of the monster, I move to their right and get them a 3rd time. Finally, with arms spread and palms pressed to the wall, I creep along behind—a frightful sight when they turn and see me.
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| Makeup to hide eyes and show off hands |
The Laundry Room: Closer to the end of the haunt, this room has a series of wooden front-loading washing machines. Behind these is an area for me to hide. There is little room to effectively pop out, and reaching through the washing machine openings isn't effective. There is a window into the next hallway for a second scare, but this is ineffective, since there no way to peek into the hall, making it impossible to know where the human is. With sheets of burlap hanging from the ceiling and the loud music, they rarely see or hear me. Being more frustrated than effective, I asked for another room the next day.
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| Doug character in Butcher Room |
Butcher Room: Returning to the barn and its first room, I was provided numerous scare-tactics, making this room among my favorites. To the left of the entrance is a table on which a fat lady is getting sawed in half. The saw activates, complete with sounds, with human movement. Behind the lady is a seat, making it easy to hide behind her and jump up. From the ceiling hang numerous animal carcasses. As I cross in front of the audeience, I can swing these and begin a game of “I’m gonna GIT you.” There is next an exit hall, which allows me to follow. Finally, there is a hidden door into the Twisted Room, which is 3 rooms beyond the butcher room. This is a great way to get a second scare, or the chance to jump at someone who didn’t startle in the butcher room.
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| One of the photo ops |
As much as I loved this scene, I had to ask Katy for another room for Saturday's show. After dealing with long covid for 2 years, it was too much. Butcher room would be better suited to me on a slower, week night. Bushwhacked, my voice was extra raspy that night. At home, I wasn’t very productive the following day.
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| Hello from a clown |
Wearing a horrific clown mask, I summoned Whispers for inspiration. He had me sneaking up from behind, and in a raspy voice much like his, blurt, “Happy HalloWEEN,” or “Who let YOU in here?” “Don’t look BEHIND you.” “SCARY. Isn’t it?” “Penny for your THOUGHTS.” Or, “Who ordered the CLOWN?” *screams. It was super effective. Once noticed by following group members, all I had to do was step back, then lurch towards them. After a particularly terrific scream, I’d say to the next person, “I don’t think they’re going to MAKE it through the WHOLE HOUSE. Do YOU?”
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| Summoning Whispers |
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| My clown of the Living Room |
Throughout the night, some fell to the floor when they saw me. Numerous times, the fright was so big that they pushed through the main door, and back into the lobby. This was wonderful. What those in line must think. Barely inside the haunt and folks are reeling back, screaming in terror. I was so proud.
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| Effective horror |
What at first
appeared to be an easy room, I made more
complicated; it was just too much fun. I was still in constant
motion. Halfway through the night, my voice began to fail.
Eventually, my clown character fell silent, causing me to rap on the
walls as I bounded from the dark. Soon, I found that while waiting for the door to open, my legs were shaky, while gasping to catch my breath. What would happen if I
passed out? How many would go by, thinking I was a prop, before being
discovered?
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| The group after the show |
Mercifully, Katy entered through the front door to inform me the show was over. I was the first backstage to turn in my mask and costume. No stopping to remove my makeup before the drive home, and no after show Denny’s with the gang. Instead, I left without a word and was in my car before the actor in the last room was released. Would I make it home alive?
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| Hand makeup after the show |
Removing airbrushed makeup isn’t easy. Standing over my sink was not an option; I could only lean against the counter, as I scoured and scrubbed. Still shaky, I might simply collapse. That night I slept 10 hours. The rest of the day, 18 hours was spent in bed. The fatigue was such that even when I did want to get up, I couldn’t. My voice was shattered and I could only whisper. Sunday’s show would have to go on without me.
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| Hayden applying makeup |
Pipe Room: This room was a natural, since it didn’t require my voice or running around. It was a dark room with a motion-activated loud scream and flashing strobe. The most entertaining aspect of this room was the mirrored wall. Many people were startled by their own reflection in the dark, making them scream, then laugh. Those thinking this was the scare of the room were wrong. Next comes the loud scream, a flash of light, and a horrific face staring them in the eye after I suddenly appear from the dark.
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| The wall of masks |
This would be my scene for the remainder of the season. As much as I longed for the Living Room or Butcher Room, I knew I was overexerting myself. For the sake of my health, it was necessary to slow down. On the plus side, besides the comedy of meat bags scaring themselves, it was a scream factory.
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| Actors pre show |
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| In wardrobe without mask |
With the lights out, it is beyond dark. I literally could not see my hand in front of my face. The eyes adapt to some degree after time, but even then, you can barely see. This meant that until the light from the glow stick is close enough to shine on me, I could stand in the open and not be seen, if I so chose. After 2 nights in the dark, there were more than a few bumps and bruises. There were also few heels that I stepped on in the dark. It was awkward saying sorry in character- the flight attendant side of me coming out.
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| Selfie of Murder Rabbit in the haunt |
Early Friday night,
a lead checked on me and commented that I take my mask off between groups.
I left it on. If there were otherworldly elements lurking in the complete darkness, I wanted to project an air of terror, hoping to be left
alone. Throughout the evening, I sensed movement to my left; a lighter shade of darkness in the dark. This happens
a lot to me with my long covid recovery, so I thought little of it; just my mind playing tricks on me in the dark.
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| Savannah, Penguin and Liz |
It turns out that I
wasn’t the only one seeing things in the dark. A few
others were talking about ghosts in the haunted house. Apparently, when it was a retail store,
several people died in a shooting. It’s said they
haunt the place, with multiple sightings and unexplained sounds.
Really? In a haunted house? I kept a keen eye out for actual spooks
Saturday night. While I continued to sense movement nearby, nothing,
or no one, became apparent in the blackness. The mask remained on.
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| Stone room creepy |
Hair-raising Reactions
Having previous plans to be in Austin, I missed the
Halloween weekend. One of my ghoulish friends texted on Sunday. Apparently, every
single person, including Katy, got punched on Halloween night. Over
the years, I’ve encountered many patrons whose first instinct when
frightened is to put up their fists. Luckily, I’ve never been
punched, but I often feared I was asking for it when getting too
close. There are quite a few times I recede into my hiding spot and chuckle at the reaction just encountered. At the end of the night, I wrote down the better ones.
A woman entered the Stone Room and exclaimed, “Fuq this room!” A man entered later, with a few kids in tow, who one day will need therapy. The little girl clinging to his side looked up at him, “Daddy. I hate you.” A college boy looking cool, with his babe at his side, fell over himself when I jumped out. He screamed like a lady. One jump made a girl fall on her ass, bringing her friend down with her. From the darkness I jumped, and a woman shrieked, “Are you going to hurt us?” I shrugged and staying in character, said something unintelligible. She spooked, running into the next room, where a mechanical woman suspended from the ceiling dropped down with a loud metallic clank. *screams
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| Penguin getting mean |
The god-dammits are like trophies to me. First hearing them in Dr. Evil’s, I’m glad they are universal. The god-dammits are from those who don’t scare easily, so when they do jump, it upsets them. “God DAMN it.” One man jumped out of his skin, shrieked, looked at me and then to the ground. He sulked for a moment as he stood still, shaking his head. “God Dammit.” These give me the widest smile, as I lurk back into the darkness. It’s a shame the mask hides my joy.
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| Murder Rabbit inside the haunt |
One group came through and I sprung out suddenly. The room filled with the screams of women. There were only men present. As I processed this, I nearly missed assaulting the next group.When teen boys and young men scream like a girl, it makes me beam. College kids passed my scene, making me laugh that the boys screamed and the girls were silent. A man in his 40s squealed as I leapt forward. He held his mouth out of embarrassment, to his friend’s delight.
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| Penguin as Warewolf |
Frightened black ladies are comic gold. They shake and brush their hands down their body as if trying to push ants away. Sometimes, they look like cartoons- sliding on ice. I scared one woman so to much that she began singing hymns. They say the best things, too: “This mother fuqer is following us.” “Back! You stay back! I said to fuqing stay back!” And then, as she turns to push her way forward, “Shit!!”
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| Love the creepies |
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| I'm Jasper the swamp man |
Several times people screamed at being startled. Then, they screeched a second time when seeing my horrific, masked face. There was a woman who shrieked, put her hands on top of her head, elbows together, and turned towards me. Her elbows pointed at me as she began screaming incessantly, until she turned and left the room without lowering her arms. Interesting defense strategy.
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| The face only a mother could love |
An ensamble had me chuckling when scaring themselves in the mirror. Just as I was about to pounce, a man made a u-turn instead of pushing the exit door open. He stopped mere inches from my face, with the flashing strobe's illumination, and we both froze. It took half a second to register that he was staring at a living skeleton. His mouth opened to scream, and in the 5 seconds he stared at me, I noticed the whitemess of his teeth, how intensely blue his eyes were, and his flawless complextion. It was absolutely comical, making me think, surely he was toying with me. The way he turned and ran out of the room indicated how genuine the scream was, regardless of the drama.
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| Inside Front of Barn |
Some scares are like eating fruit. You take a bite expecting sweetness, but instead, it’s sour. The worst thing is popping out to no reaction. You may not have freaked, but least pretend you’re not bored. Better yet, show some appreciation for the actor’s efforts; smiles are nice, or saying "awesome." The worst thing a patron can do is be a dick. This includes taunting, correcting, and trying to drunk-dance with an actor...don’t be a dick. A punk kid didn’t scare, and then taunted me as he left. He lurched and screamed when I got him in my second room. Brat.
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| Getting to know Murder Rabbit |
Two dudes walked into my scene. One told the other where he suspected I was hiding. Even with this knowledge, his friend screamed like a woman, then ran like witch Hazel, with her hair pins spinning in the air. After retreating to my darkness, I bounced again, this time getting his buddy. Making someones pupils widen as they scream big enough to count their teeth is capital.
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| Whispers was never out of place |
The Faces of Death
Mission one each night is selecting a mask. If the mask you want has already been chosen, your SOL. This is one reason I arrive early. They are correlated for each of the 2 sections of the haunt. A clown in the swamp would be odd after seeing a slimy swamp monster in the trick-or-treat area. Based on the mask chosen, they give a costume to match. Finally, makeup is airbrushed to darken any parts of the flesh visible through the mask, as well as arms, necks, and hands.
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| Loved the hand, I wore it to | Denny's |
While in the Pipe Room, I chose the mask of skull. It went especially well with my skeleton arm sleeves, and was perfect for the darkness. The mask fit really well, and covered my neck, requiring no airbrushing to cover my skin. And it scared well. For the rest of the show, that guy was mine. Wearing different masks and creating characters for each one was fun. Besides the skeleton, the only other mask I would have worn often was the clown I wore in the Living Room.
What I found interesting was how various masks garnered differing reactions. Many seemed to be especially bothered by the bird man. Tree face didn't seem to affect people to the degree that scarecrow did. People often commented when seeing Wolfman, or would bark. And it was interesting how many people eyed me up and down while they shrieked.
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| My favorite mask in Pipe Room |
There were times I
changed masks because they didn’t work well in the scene. The ears of
Murder Rabbit made jettisoning out of the swinging door difficult. Gerald—a
grim, warped character—constantly slid down my face, requiring
constant adjustments. If I felt like the mask I selected wasn't very scary, I'd pick another one the next day.
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| Loved Murder Rabbit, hard to see, tho |
The first year I worked at Dr. Evil’s, I chose a different character and a different room each night. Three weeks in is when I discovered the fear people have of clowns, and my clown affection cemented. I never loved clowns until I saw this fear in others, giving birth to Whispers the Klown. His voice and characterizations came naturally and almost immediately. His greetings were a series of 3 “How ya doin’?”s. His favorite catch phrase was, “Didn’t expect a clown, didja? No one ever expects a clown.” And my favorite, when someone screams, he’d scream, too. Then look around and ask, “Wait. Why are we screamin’?”
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| Whispers and his boss, Dr. E |
As much as I love the surprise of popping out of the darkness, I relish the experience of looking horrific. The mask is only half. By cocking the head to one side, raising the arms high with fingers spread, or for a clown, dancing into the darkness instead of sulking back, throws it over the top.
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| Bird man of the Pipe Room |
The effort I apply is a personal choice, which I didn’t realize anyone in the company noticed. I was there only for the audience, not to score points. Most weekend nights ended at Denny’s for a sort of after party. One night, an actor commented to the gang how twisted it was, the way I retreated into darkness with a dance.
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| The Dancing Clown |
Home is where the scare is
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| The cast Holiday Party |
After a long hiatus, I have found
new scare therapy. It’s therapy that I take seriously. Each
evening, I prepare for the show with a routine of stretches, vocal
warm ups, and meditation. With the mask I selected on my knee, I
study it. What are his characteristics? How would he sound? Would
he shriek, or laugh madly? Was he evil, demented, or mental? For me, it's not enough to just pounce and roar. People remember characters with a horrific personality. Leaving them to wonder how much is the character and how much is the actor brings joy.
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| Heath pre show ritual |
Besides Katy, I heard few others refer to the haunt like a stage show. The haunted house is the stage. The rooms are scenes. Humans line up in the front of the house, and the backstage area is back of the house. Everyone was there to have some fun and earn a little spending cash, but I wasn’t the only one with a pre-show routine. Regardless the degree of seriousness others had in performing, I was proud to be a part of a group of actors who were so successful in providing fear for our guests. By the end of the season, there was much cohesion among us. And a lot of fun was shared.
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| Eric and Penguin |
Thanks to this experience, I feel better. The screams generated provided guests with extra value to their horrific good time. Even better... I have new friends. While I hope to return to my full-time job in the near future, I also want to allow room in my schedule for another dose of scare therapy. As much as I can get.
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| Notes from the director |
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| Love the clowns most |
As a final thought, it was during a conversation with a non-ghoulish friend that I felt the need to defend myself. How could one take pleasure in causing terror? Do I come across as someone to fear because of this? Am I demented for having an affinity to scare people, or the feeling of empowerment over those I scare? Before I finished, she laughed. People pay to be horrified at haunts all over the world. As long as one leave the characters behind and continues in the real world as someone who contributes to society in a healthy way, one poses no danger. It is all in the name of fun. I’m equally addicted to making people smile and happy. And when the night is over, I know they are smiling as they return to their car. If they haven’t died from fright, that is..
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| Cast party |
So without fear of being judged as mentally deranged, I had a particularly fun experience one Saturday night, a few weeks into the show. The haunt was packed. After 8PM, there was barely a time my room that was void of souls. When I finally got a moment to regroup, I stood in my hiding spot. The usual sounds heard in the darkness—the monster growls, the chain saws, the honking horns, the horror music, even the loud, startling clank of that woman falling from the ceiling—were no longer audible. Not a one. Screams; cries of terror; panicked shouts; skreeches of fright; these were the only things I heard. They drowned everything else out, leaving me in total awe.
Never have all the sounds and effects of a haunt vanished under so much screaming. Surely it was audible outside, if not a mile away. It’s a moment, just past 9PM, I will never forget. My head fell back against the wall, I closed my eyes, and smiled. For 5 solid minutes, terror was the only thing I heard.
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| Am I crazy to wear Dr. E's shirt with this bunch??? |
The thoughts and opinions above are my own and do not represent those of The 13th Floor.
You can learn more about Dr. Evil at this link:
https://penguinscottfiction.blogspot.com/2013/08/dr-evil.html
Please leave your comments below.
Do you enjoy haunts? Where was your favorite? Do you share a penchant for making people scream every October?
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