Thursday, January 8, 2026

Integrity is the Best Defense











A recent experience reminded me of one I had in high school. In 1986, I graduated with honors, meaning I was in the top 10 percent of my class. Being active in youth leadership as a student senator and an elected state officer for the national chapter of HERO (home economics related occupations), and public speaking were among the things for which I was known. One of the scholarships I received was from the Rotary Club of Dallas, having spoken at their monthly meetings at the Texas State Fairgrounds numerous times. It was an honor, educational, and much fun.


In my senior year, my girlfriend wanted in one of my classes for the second semester, but it was full. I guess this upset her because unbeknownst to me, her father called the school in hopes of advocating that she be placed in my class. So out of the blue one day, I was called into the principal's office. 

 

As a kid I was Batman: full on integrity

As a student senator active as a youth leader on a state and national level representing Skyline High School, which at the time—in the mid 80s—was the 3rd largest high school in the US, I knew the principal well. After all, I was an honor student. I also knew Principal Golden from serving on a committee to help him transition from the very popular Frank Guzick. Guzick was so beloved he had a Dallas area school named after him.


Very quickly I realized that this wasn't the ordinary visit to the offices of Skyline High School. Apparently Melany's father had NOT called Mr. Golden in hopes of pushing her into my class. Unsure who had, they wanted to speak to me. Dr. Tuckey, the disciplinary vice-principal was in the office, as was the department head, and friend of mine, Mrs. Blair. It was Dr. Tuckey's assessment that I had made the call. Wait. What? 

 

That's me in the center of the left page, editor in chief of 

"For Senior's Only" school magazine. 

Mr. Golden is just above me, and Mr. Guzick at top 2nd from left.

My fellow student senators at bottom. 

After a few questions I learned that someone posing as Melanie's father called and spoke to Mr. Golden personally. Mr. Golden knew me…quite well. I asked Mr. G if he A: really believed I could get away with sounding like anyone but me, let alone her father, and B: in knowing me, he really thought I could not only do something like that, but think I could get away with it. 


Mr. Golden did NOT think the man posing as Mr. Melaniedad sounded like me, nor did he think I would do something of the sort. Mrs. Blair was in the same court and did not believe in the slightest that I would try something like that. She then brought to our attention that at the time the call was made, I was in class. Dr. Tuckey, not knowing me as well, swore it was me, even though he never spoke to the faux father who made the call. 

 

Jedi Knight

Later, while in class, Mrs. Blair told me a story of her being blamed for something she never did. As far as she knew, she was still thought of as being responsible. It's something she can live with because she knows the truth. She believed me, and understood my disappointment in Dr. Tuckey placing blame at my feet. She assured me that keeping my integrity in tact meant that those who really matter believed Dr. T was off base, Mrs. B. encouraged me to keep my head high and let it slide off my back like water on a duck. Being unfamiliar with waterfowl and certain phrases, I had to look that up. But I would always be guilty in the doctor's mind. 

 

Nearly forty years later I was visiting with a friend I used to work with at a haunted house in Houston. I told him that I felt that I've fallen out of popularity because I no longer worked there. He said something that confused me; something about the letter I wrote to the corporate offices of 13th Floor anonymously. Wait. What? Not only did I not write a letter to corporate, I never wrote any letter to the haunt at all. For what reason? Smoking back stage.


He recanted how the company director read this letter to the actors one night after the show at a pizza place. She attributed it to me because it was sent snail mail, which is apparently old-fashioned, as I'm known to be; was written well, which is my style; and was about a topic I had once brought up to her in a complaint. Never resolved, the following year, I simply stayed away from the other actors to avoid the smoke. Not a big deal.


I was more than shocked. First of all, the unprofessionalism of a manager reading out loud a letter sent to corporate, anonymously or not, then handed down to the Houston division. And then assigning guilt based on gut-feeling, without investigation. I was vocal about my issues with backstage smoking and was not alone in the complaints. It would be easy to craft a letter in the style of my speaking, and my blog is not exactly private, with over 35,000 views. Believe me, were I to write a letter in hopes of keeping it anonymous, it would be written in the style of someone other than myself. Doy!

 

I often had friends over

So upset over this accusation and the method in which it was handled in front of my friends, I dealt with it differently than in high school. To defend myself I called her out in a letter that, as she had done, I shared with the actors. The haunted house in Houston was never lacking for drama. There were actors with an ego the size of Alaska who thought they ran the place. Actually, they sort of do...telling others who displease them that they shouldn't bother to show up for work.


One of these ego-cretins once came to me and asked to speak in private. I followed him and he said, “This is coming from (our director), but you can't advertise your party here.”  What displeased him was leaving fliers advertising my Halloween party. And now he was telling me I couldn't do so, as had been done by others. This guy hated me. He tore down signs I posted in the break area selling contact lenses I couldn't wear. He once accused me of “stealing” the new hires when inviting them to join a group of us another place from where he wanted to go.


My immediate response to this mental midget was, “If this is coming from (director), have (director) tell me," and I walked away. Our director never said a thing and my fliers remained (It was a great party, by the way). The third time he asked me to step aside so he could speak to me—yes, third—I told him that I was done being pulled aside by him. If he had something to tell me, he could do so in front of everyone present. This time it was to complain that was planning a party the same night he wanted one. Tough shit, Sherlock. I announced first.

 

Just look at the spread
The Halloween Party was off the hook


My point is, this guy hated me enough that I could see him trying to set me up with this anonymous letter. The funniest thing is that he had no idea that I was only planning to work 1 night that season because I was returning to my full-time job. Such energy was wasted trying to set me up when I wasn't even going to work that season. And (director) fell for it, regardless of who wrote the letter.



After posting my open letter to her defending myself, I received a threat from the halfwit himself. Asshole, I replied, you are not in charge of me. Not now and not then. You can't tell me what I can and can't write or what I can and cannot say in trying to defend myself. Next I heard from (director) who wanted me to know she didn't ask him to threaten me. She may have been daft enough to read a letter falsely attributed to me, but not so much so as to sick the dimwit on me. Note taken.

 

It took a year, but she finally spoke to me about this letter and I took the opportunity to fill her in a few of the things the moron did while I was employed by her, including his various verbal threats, each of which I laughed at him and walked away. His hatred of me grew each time. If I felt no need to write her a letter about all that, I certainly had no need to write a letter about backstage smoking. I was never, nor am I now, scared of that simpleton.


But like Dr. Tuckey in 1985, she stood by her guns saying she knew I wrote the letters (yes, plural). So now to find I wrote 2 letters. Just how many did I write?, I asked. But don't bother. As much as I'd love to hear what the letters said, I know I didn't write them, regardless of the style in which they were written or the topics covered.


A few years ago I learned that Mrs. Blair had passed away. I have no idea if Dr. Tuckey is alive, but I couldn't help but wonder if that 12-sandwich eating man still thinks I made that call to Principal Golden. Not only did I really admire Mrs. Blair, she now knows the truth about the call to Principal G. I didn't make the call. I didn't write the letters. End of story.

 

As stated in my defense, I own my thoughts and don't hide behind fear. The backstage smoking pales in comparison to the backstabbing and yet I never mentioned it. The saddest thing about being drug back into their drama is that it has stained the joy I had in working there for two seasons.


What I love most is when I asked my friend why I was just hearing about this over a year after it happened. He said no one from our group of friends really thought I wrote the letter. It's like Mrs. Blair said…if you have good integrity, if you live life right, no one who really knows you or counts will believe shit like making calls to a man you know, pretending to be your girlfriend's father, or writing anonymous letters. 

 

No fear

 

 


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Wednesday, January 7, 2026

Beautiful and Villainous, My January 6th

 



My beloved Astrodome during Rodeo
I survived yesterday, January 6th, spending it relatively quiet, sleeping in, and keeping mostly to myself. I ventured out just long enough to say hello to my neighbors before driving to the Astrodome in order to volunteer at the 2026 Houston Rodeo. It was actually at NRG Stadium, which is next door to the vacant Eighth Wonder of the World Astrodome, one of my all time favorite buildings, so in my head, that was my destination.


January 6th isn't necessarily a difficult day for me, but it is a memorable one. Just five years ago, on the 7th day in the hospital with the trump virus, my doctor stopped by to inform me that he thought I was well enough to go home. What a relief. I call it the trump virus because he did so little to protect Americans, cum the world, from such a vicious illness. I figured if he could call COVID the China virus, I could call it the trump virus. Only seems fitting, finding out first hand what a vile illness that was. (Not sure of which I speak.)


I thought I would die in that hospital, as many around me did. I'd hear the nurses talk outside my door about who had died the night before. Twice in rooms that neighbored mine. The second time was complete with a discussion on when they could use the room for the next patient—not until the afternoon, because they were backed up downstairs, so the patient was still lying in state in room next to mine. And then her replacement moaned and cried for help all night long.


What led me to the hospital stay was my second visit to the ER. The first time I was sent home only because I didn't need to be ventilated. I could hardly breathe, my chest hurt with double pneumonia, I couldn't smell a thing when inhaling deep from the container of ground coffee next to my Keurig. As much as I enjoy coffee, I hate the smell of coffee beans. As I struggled from the examination table to my feet, I whimpered, "OK, then I'll go home to die." I later regretted saying that. It wasn't the nurse's fault, and I hope she can know that in the end, I didn't die.


Barely alive in hospital



There are many things I don't recall from the days following my first ER visit; like what I did when I got home. Probably passed out from the struggle of walking into my home. I don't recall driving myself to the hospital the second time. I do recall being turned away from the main entrance and forced to walk around the block to the ER entrance. I remember thinking I was about to pass out and wondered how long I'd lie in the grass before being discovered. I don't recall checking in, but I do remember being wheeled to my hospital room. I remember how shaky I was, how concerned everyone was about my state of health, and how kind the doctor and nurses were to me. Thinking back, it was a wonderful gift to give a patient who may not see the next day.


So on day seven, that kind doctor said he thought I was well enough to go home. He'd requested I be released with a home oxygen system, which I stayed on for at least a month. I was so excited to see my cats, thinking I'd never see them again. I remember the night before going to the ER that second time, standing in my bedroom, unable to inhale because the pain was so bad, crying, wishing to die, knees going weak, looking for the best way to fall when I passed out, and seeing all three of my cats in different corners watching me like children seeing their father go off to war.


The first thing I asked the nurse the following morning—day 8—was if she knew when I could go home. I'd see that question all day go unanswered. For the first time since I entered that room I turned on the television. The news reports from Georgia's run-off election kept getting interrupted by the crowd gathering at the capitol in DC. By the crowd growing in size and in frustration in how the counting of electoral ballots wasn't going their way. By the crowd rushing the steps and climbing the walls. By the crowd then breaking into the United States Capitol building. It was the first time I'd cried for something other than my pain in a month. Perhaps yet since Mom died that previous March.


A month later still on oxygen

So much was my anticipation in going home, I missed dinner. When hearing the dining room had closed, a nurse brought me a sandwich from Subway. "I can't eat a whole sandwich," I told her. "Please take the other half." She left me the cookie and earned a place in heart, along with the other wonderful nurses, doctors and friends who had given me encouragement since falling ill early December. She refused my attempt to pay her.


After eating half the sandwich given to me, I fell asleep. The night nurse woke me, "It's time to go home. I'm here to help gather your things." I smiled at her. "I don't have much," I said. Since I drove myself to the hospital, and had no one to pick me up, I also drove myself home. The attendant had fun wheeling me all over looking for my car. And just like getting there, I have no memory of driving home. Had it not been 11PM in a world still mostly devoid of unnecessary traffic thanks to the covid shut down, I would not have attempted it. But I was a desperate man.

Seeing my cats again gave me such joy that I nearly fell dead to the ground in my living room. Their boxes needed to be emptied and the effort it took to clean them required a break in between. When getting ready for bed I fell, grabbing my night stand and causing it to roll completely upside down. I wasn't hurt. And as my shallow breaths slowed to normal, pulling the sheets up to my chin, I thought back on the day. January 6, 2021 was one of the longest days of my life. It was nearly January 7th before I got home. And I had watched an insurrection against my beloved country by my own countrymen live on television. How could my heart rise at being home and so crushed at the same time? The body is truly amazing.


My fur babies, Cusco, Miss Ellie, and Winona

It was nearly three months before I was able to drive. The book I'd been working on before falling ill was now impossible to finish because I was unable to type. Had I been able to, my concentration was shot. The fatigue was so bad that I slept much of the time, just like my cats, who stuck by my side to help me recover.


Recovery took four years. The brain fog never left, the dizzy spells, the phantom smells, seeing things in my periphery, unable to concentrate on what was being said to me. I was ineffectual in speaking the words that came to my brain because of some weird filter just inside my mouth that had me stuttering and slurring words like an afternoon drunkard trying to find his way home.


In the months after hospital, I was still shaky, and so easily distracted that I was becoming a danger to myself at home. A doctor suggested I consider admitting myself to an after care center, but I soon found a friend who needed a place to live as much as I needed assistance. The recovery was slow, but with encouragement from friends and family and my desire to get back to the career I love so much, I fought my way back.


Back where I belong, to a career I cherish

After nearly giving up on life, unable to write or return to flying, things began to turn around in the summer of 2024. By that October I was back in the skies, happier than I've ever been in my life. I'd beat the trump virus. I'd heard people die in the hospital. I'd lost neighbors and family. I saw the entire world shut down the week my mother died. And witnessed the first insurrection that our once proud nation has endured.

Like my illness, it was but a misstep. The USA will survive just as I have. It will recover. It will be stronger and happier than ever. I lost 100 pounds in the year after January 6, 2021. The world will eventually lose the obscene weight of an ego maniacal, bigoted, misogynistic, fake, loser of president- a convicted sex offender on top of being found guilty on all 34 charges of corruption, and likely just as guilty of pedophilia. We really need to tighten up our constitution so we never see another criminal enterprise brainwash half the country into an actual political cult.

But five years later, I'm flying. I'm happy. I'm spending quality time with my sweet gato-kitties, seeing the world, drinking good wine, visiting with friends and family, riding roller coasters, and writing again. The fatigue still keeps watch over me, but I do what I can, the best I can, to curse it away. We may have seen an insurrection on January 6th, but I won an insurrection against the trump virus that same day. Maybe it's fitting that this date in history is both beautiful to me, and vile at the same time.



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