Penguinmas

Feeling great in a new body

Today is my birthday- a day that I generally treat as a holiday and stretch it out as long as possible (and why I never mind belated Penguinmas wishes). Christ gets his mas every year and I think we all deserve our mas. This year I’ve made a particularly big stink about Penguinmas. I’ve not done so purely for attention, although after nearly 2 years of covid isolation and 1 year recovering from the trumpvirus, a little attention sure does feel nice.

I got out of the hospital after 8 days, on January 6, 2021 (Happy Insurrection Day). When I was released, I had lost 22 pounds. That was a very unhealthy side effect 3 weeks after getting sick. When I got home I had a very weak appetite. In fact, the old appetite has yet to return, and thus the hyping the big news that I’m so excited to share.

As I watched the pounds melt away and the loose skin sag and slowly shrink, I began setting weight loss goals, not expecting them to be easy to reach. They are about as easy to reach as the top of Everest. I’ve been overweight pretty much all my life and had reached a point that I didn’t care how high the needle rose. A healthy appetite, love for food, and depression are quite the melange to greater mass. And I’m not known for my willpower. I do as I please.

Before: scary

Each time a post covid weight loss goal was reached, I would set a new one. There were times the pounds seemed to fly away, losing 3 a week. Other times were slower, but I never really changed my diet. Sure, I was no longer eating fast food 1-3x a week. I’ve only been to Whataburger 5 times in the past year! (And each burger and fry is 2 meals!) And yes, I was eating healthier, but I never denied myself anything. To this day I eat dessert almost daily. I still eat pizza, burgers and TexMex and HEB ice cream (so much better than BlueBell). It’s just that with such a small appetite, I’m eating about 1/3 of what I used to. I’d go to Eva’s and eat an entire chimichanga meal with chips and a large ‘rita. That same plate now lasts 3 meals and if I do get the occasional margarita, it’s generally a small one. It’s like eating out has become Hanukkah. Stretch it out.

Speaking of stretch it out, back in high school, 1985, I started working out with Jane Fonda. Not in person—I wish—but some of you may know of her famous workout tape complete with 80s leg warmers and over-synthesized music while coaching us to “stretch it out.” I continued this into college and remember it being low impact and fairly easy on the body, although a tough workout. Jane loved beating me up; after all, she popularized the phrase, “Feel the burn.” I’m glad she was on tape and not in person. There were times I had a few choice words for her. You keep that leg up there, b***h. (I still love you, Jane.)

After: wowza

I squee’d finding the DVD on line so I have been working out with Jane again since April—7 months ago. I have not felt so happy with my physique since the late 80s, when I was lifting weights in college 4x a week. It’s nice running my hands down my legs and feeling muscle instead of fat.

So here is the big reveal that I’ve not mentioned but to a very select and close few. I’m ashamed of how I had let myself go and mentioning the numbers is difficult, but here goes. At my heaviest, I was at least 260 pounds. I suspect I got heavier than that because I stopped stepping on scales. When Mom had her seizure in January of 2020, my stress eating took off like a Besos rocket. Fortunately, after her passing and a few months into quarantine I started to walking 3 miles a day. By the time I contracted covid in December of 2020 I had lost about 10 pounds. Loosing 10 pounds? That was huge for me.

169 pounds on 8December2021

I recall 12 years ago when I started a diet and my goal was to get back under 200 pounds. After struggling to do so I promptly contracted that PenguinPox virus, as my friends named it. Yet another virus that nearly created a Penguin-free world. That’s right, covids wasn’t my 1^st virus rodeo. during recovery from that illness, I waved goodbye to being under 200 pounds and never looked back. Until this past spring. I don’t recall the date that I reached 200- early summer, perhaps. The next set goal was 185. When reaching that, I made my goal 170 pounds...and to be at or below that weight by my birthday. And that’s why the big deal for making this announcement on Penguinmas.

Today is my birthday and I reached 170 pounds on November 23^rd (actually a few days prior...I don’t usually accept a new weight until I get 3 readings at that weight in a row). Going to Dallas for Thanksgiving and feasting on culinary delights with my adopted Mom, Leta and her friends and family, I lost my footing and was scared that when my birthday arrived I might be a pound or 2 over my goal. However, as you can see, I have attained my goal. This morning, Wednesday, I am 169 pounds.

It’s not a diet that I recommend—getting covids—but after all the SHIT that I’ve been through in the past 3 years, this is one thing that I’m happy for and so, very proud of. I know Mom is happy for me, And prior to Itsy’s passing, she was really impressed with my weight loss. I can feel their pride in my progress from across the veil.

In Dallas for Thanksgiving

Beefcake!

I’m not sorry that you might have to suffer with more selfies than I’ve ever taken, but I’m loving how I look after so many years of being heavy. I’ve dropped 4 sizes and now feel like Narcissus- not the plant, but the handsome man who so fell in love with his looks that he couldn’t stop looking at his reflection. I deserve this and I will own it. I may not be as hot as Army Hammer or whoever is on the cover of People’s hottest man of the year issue, but in my magazine it’s me and I’m rocking it!

On sale today!

Thank you for your support and Happy Penguinmas- 90 pounds lighter than a year ago.

Et tu, Julius

 

I don’t recall how I first learned about Julius Caesar, but I was just a wee-thing. I remember wondering how the guy in the blood-stained white sheet had a chain of drink stands named after him. Little did I know that Orange Julius was actually named after the 1926 founder of the business. I wasn’t familiar with anyone else named Julius, so in my young mind it must have been Julius Caesar, not Julius Freed.

Orange Julius

Soon after, I discovered the same smooth and creamy orange thrill of the Dreamsicle, on a hot Houston day at Southampton preschool. The dreamy orange-flavored Popsicle quickly found a special place in this kid’s summertime cravings. And I didn’t have to force Mom into a trip to the mall food court to enjoy one because they gave them free at school.

I better understood this name, with that dreamy mix of orange and vanilla, it truly was a dream-sicle. But I wondered, did Brutus stab Caesar because he didn’t share his orange-vanilla treat? Kids ask the silliest things. “Drink up, Penguin, there’s a sale at Joske’s…” “OK, Mom.” So I learned about Caesar before I learned about Dreamsicles. That was one heck of a school. It was a Montessori school in the Rice Village section of Houston and I am so thankful for their fostering my independent thinking.

 

It’s been a very long time since I had a smooth and creamy Orange Julius from an Orange Julius stand. This is strange because I have such fond memories of how much I enjoyed them. A few years ago I was on a long flight from New York. While bored I decided to experiment with flavor combinations utilizing open drinks and juice left over from the beverage service. I attempted an Orange Julius but failed in simply mixing orange juice with milk. Even the suggestion from a colleague to add a bit of sugar didn’t help. Leave it to the pros, Penguin. (The recipe for an Orange Julius follows.)

In April of 2004, I went on vacation to the tropical paradise of Phuket Island in Thailand. While enjoying the waves softly closing themselves onto the white sand and then fading away, all from the comfort of my shady lounge chair, I discovered the magic of mango smoothies. Or to be more precise, mangoes in general. I’m not sure how this sweet, creamy fruit had eluded me for so long. For the past third of my life now, I have added mango smoothies, a la Phuket, to my summer repertoire of Dreamsicles.

HEB Grocery Store, a Texas favorite

 

On a recent run for culinary provisions to the HEB grocery store, I found something I’d never come across before while in the cereal aisle. It sounds a bit off-putting, but hear me out because it’s like a trip to tropical paradise—in a bowl: Mango Flakes cereal with Granola clusters and pieces of mango, apple and passion fruit. The flakes are as orange as a Julius (apparently, I’m on a first-name basis now). And similar to the magic of Cocoa Krispies, it colors the milk, but orange in this case, which excites the kid in me. Orange milk!

Even when I saw it sitting there taunting me from the shelf, my first instinct was, “um, gross.” But the kid in me started to jump up and down and I know that kid well enough to understand that when he doesn’t get what he wants he throws a tantrum. And no one wants to see that. “Attention. There is a social media moment in aisle thirteen. Set cameras to stun.” So in the shopping cart it went.

Tropical paradise in a bowl *  

 

It took a full five days before I was brave enough to open the box and give it a try, half expecting to end up tossing it in the garbage. I had already accepted that possibility the moment it hit my shopping cart, making the almond milk wonder what it had done to deserve such a horrific fate. I’m not sure who was more surprised at how delicious it was—me or the milk—showing of its snazzy new orange outfit. And not only was the milk now orange...it tasted very reminiscent of dreamsicle, which started out as a brand name, but is now universally synonymous with the flavor itself. 

I fully intended to write only about finding an odd-flavored cereal and discovering how much I enjoyed its flavor as much as for the childhood memories. So out of curiosity, and lack of knowledge, I researched the Orange Julius chain for this story. 

Before this story I had no idea it was named by creator Julius Freed, or that it was done so in the mid 1920s in Los Angeles. I was actually a bit happy to hear that it was not named in honor of the late, great Caesar. That would surely have required deeper investigating and I’m too busy for all that.

This is where this story takes a turn that I was not expecting.

Food always instills strong memories. Comfort food is a favorite term of mine because it is an accurate label for flavors that take us back to milder times. As compensation for dragging me to the mall when I’d rather be exploring the world outside, Mom would treat me to an Orange Julius. I considered writing the memory as Mom wanting to shop at Penny’s because of one of my favorite movies, “Airplane!” (True fans of the movie will understand. Others can simply do a search for “there’s a sale at Penny’s.”) But Mom never shopped at Penny’s. Her go-to favorites were Foley’s, Saks, Joske’s, Palais Royal, and Lord & Taylor. I often thought we were royalty for shopping in stores with such names. Maybe we were too good for copper Penny’s. 

 

Joske's

Northwest Mall in Houston was a favorite

 

I’m not sure why my brain went with Joske’s—rhymes with frost tease—over any of Mom’s other favorite stores from my childhood, but it did. So of course I decided to check the spelling and history of Joske’s. Joske’s was founded in 1867, one-hundred years before I was born. It was a department store originally based in San Antonio, Texas, the same as HEB Grocery Stores. Would you believe that the founder of Joske’s—a German immigrant—was named Julius Joske?

What started out as Mango cereal reminding me of Orange Julius and my early association to Julius Caesar led to the discovery that Orange Julius and Caesar shared a name. My association of Orange Julius to Mom shopping at Joske’s led to the discovery that Joske also shared the name Julius and that the store was headquartered in San Antonio, Texas, the same city that headquarters HEB, where I found the cereal. I delight investigating facts behind memories when I write. My father once said you never stop learning, and he was on-point about that.

 

Dreamy orange cereal *

I’m not sure if it was my Montessori subliminal genius, or maybe Mom has become a Muse, helping me cull this story from our history together. Either way would be fine. Either way, Mom is sitting there on her cloud smiling down on me while enjoying a dreamy Orange Julius...in a crystal glass she got from Joske’s. She always thought I was brilliant and I always credited her for my creativity. Cheers, Mom. And say hello to Julius. You know the one.

 

⥈

 

You can make an Orange Julius drink at home:

Ingredients

• 6 oz. can frozen orange juice concentrate

• 1 1/2 cup milk

• 1/4 cup sugar

• 2 teaspoons vanilla

• 12 ice cubes

1. Combine the first four ingredients in a blender. Blend on high speed until smooth.

2. Add ice cubes (depending on the size of your ice cubes, you may want more or less. I suggest starting with 8-10). Blend again until ice cubes are crushed and the drink is smooth and creamy. Serve immediately.

Add 4 oz of vodka for a boozy Julie.

Dreamsicle Recipe – Nostalgia on a Stick

Ingredients

• 2 cups orange sherbet, slightly softened

• 2 cups vanilla ice cream, slightly softened

• 1 cup fresh orange juice

• ⅔ cup simple syrup

• ½ cup heavy cream

Combine sherbet and ice cream in a large zip-lock plastic bag. Massage the bag to slightly mix the 2 colors. Make a 3/4-inch cut in bottom corner of bag. Squeeze about 3 tablespoons of sherbet mixture into each of 10 (3-oz) Popsicle molds.

Stir together orange juice, simple syrup, and cream in a liquid measuring cup. Pour juice mixture into Popsicle molds allowing liquid to fill in all the air pockets of the ice cream. Insert Popsicle sticks, and freeze at least 8 hours.

 

 

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Do you share similar memories? Leave a comment. And let me know how you like the recipes if you try them.

*Photos are not mine except those with asterisks.

**I created the artwork using a photo I did not take.